Wednesday, August 17, 2011


Hats are a fast and dirty way to make a statement.
A properly selected headpiece can announce, "I support an elitist class system that's outlived whatever claims to relevancy it once purported! " (see this summer's Royal Wedding), or, "I'm not smart!" (see all seasons of Jersey Shore).
This sturdy gem, however, is different. It claims, "I haven't washed my parking lot changing towel in a long time and I don't give a damn."
It warns, "if you're riding a popout, you best be on purple-nurple high alert."
It quietly shouts, "I'm gonna have another Tecate, them I'm gonna think about having another Tecate."
As the latest of my ill-advised forays into merchandise, I present to you the corduroy hat.
It's not impregnated with stretchy shit. It will not wick moisture or make your biceps look huge, and it's not silky-smooth-like-butter right out of the box. Do you have other people chew your food for you, for chrissake?
Hell no, because you're a do-er, and you're not afraid to break in a new pair of Carhartt's, or Levi's 501s, or a friggin' bronco.
And this baby blue bronc requires some breaking in, a little manhandling, and a lot of days on the range before it accepts you as its superior. It wasn't washed with cobblestones, massaged by authentic villagers, or 'distressed' by whatever it is that distresses things.
It was sewn up by snow-and-surf shredder/limited-run lidmaker Tommie at Dedicate in Jackson, Wyoming. We're only doing a few.
What your hat will say is, "I'm not trifled by wide-wale corduroy and, yes, I do know that corduroy is translated from the French cord-de-roi, or clothes of the king. Did you know that badass is French for what's perched on my head?" That'll show 'em.
Because you know that a good thing requires some real work, but once it's broken in, it's all yours.
Unless, of course, someone steals it. Then it's theirs. That's what you get for letting someone steal your hat, dummy.
Email me if you're interested in one.
$25 should do it.


e. said...

Nice looking hat my friend.

Anonymous said...

Not to jazz your glass,... but what would really be siiiiiiiick would be to do a run of beer can knitted hats done by genuine American grannies from the north coast made from Tecate cans that you emptied while shaping sleds! Your label will be in the front, of course. I will not only donate the 18 pack that is necessary, but I will also pay the $25 for the granny-labor!

Anonymous said...

Dude, your making headlines (sorry, couldn't help it)!


Pico said...

make or break time....What's in the back? Fitted adjustable velcro? Snap tabs? IS it small so I can look like my dad, and have the hat barely hanging on by the last two tabs?

HeadHighGlassy said...

Snap tab! Even your dad's big melon should have no problems. I can drop one off at NL next time I'm headed that way...which could be today if it looks like it did this weekend.

Anonymous said...

"Even your dad's big melon should have no problems." Thats sold me on one Jamie, as I have a "big melon" too. So save one for me when I pick up my board.

HeadHighGlassy said...


happyhatcustomer said...

Got our dos hats in the mail -- excellent! Corduroy's nifty. Fits the husband melon, and my scrawny one, too. Thanks, Jamie! nk