Tuesday, April 22, 2014

From the notebooks: Spring

From the notebooks.
Shaping in Spring:
The deeper into spring, the weirder the boards: long, wide, fat boards that catch everything. Short, wide, fat boards that catch almost everything. Medium, wide, fat boards that fit perfectly between short-period windswell troughs. Many ways to skin the grumpy, uncooperative, foggy cat of spring.
Take that, Spring!
8'4" Spring Shred Stick
Parenting in Spring:
My kids now think I'm effing with them at bedtime. "How could it be?" They plead, pointing out the window. "It's still light outside!" And they're correct, but it's also 8pm and bedtime and daddy needs a Manhattan, so off they go. Take that, Spring!
2+1. All fiberglass fins, because I care
Holidays in Spring. As a Jew, I had no idea Easter (or as I'm calling it now, Spring Christmas) was really a thing. Well, it's a thing. A giant rabbit sneaks into your house at night, eats carrots, then leaves eggs. In the morning, your kids demand candy and fake tattoos and stomprockets and a jumpy house. What? Whatever, spring!
Red is the fastest and shreddiest of all surfboard tints--perfect for Spring.
Allergies in Spring. My head feels like it's filled with soft cheese and I'm itchier than an Indonesian dog. Plus, there's no sympathy. "Allergies?" people ask. "Me too! My eyes are super itchy today!" and I'm like, "whatever, ass, have you ever been hospitalized because of this shit? I have!"
Bite me, Spring!
Spring's not all bad, though. You don't have to wear socks as much, and it's a step closer to fall, so there's that.
The above Broadsword is for SF LadyShredder Sarah, who already took a California coastal roadtrip with it, dinged it, scored some insane waves on it, received many compliments about it, and saw an elephant seal. Take that, Spring!

Friday, April 4, 2014

The Clover PR

6'6 Clover PR (Pocket Rocket) for Four-Fingered Sam on the Central Coast.
Question: Does Sam have only four fingers?
Answer: No, he has ten fingers, total.
Question: What criteria does a Clover have to meet to achieve a "PR" designation?
Answer: Absolutely none! Actually, this one's a bit pulled in. The Clover is no mushbuster.
My shop's a total freaking mess right now, as we just got back from Joshua Tree.
Question: Is Joshua Tree a good spot to reclaim the last dwindling tendrils of your youth?
Answer: No. No it's not. Much has changed since my last visit to the Mojave when I laughed with insouciance at steep, traditional climbs and wore shorts with 6" inseams. Fifteen years later I felt slower, more terrified,  and both hairier and less hairy at the same time. Don't think about that one for too long.
Question: What beverage pairs well with a Clover PR?
Answer: Awaken's Real Aloe Vera drink featuring wheatgrass and the 'ancient healing' properties of aloe vera pulp.
Just kidding! You're gonna wash this classic shred sled down with a classic single malt--the no frills, always delivers, smoky-sweet goodness of Highland Park 12. No bells and whistles on this traditional single malt scotch, just layers of liquid gold sliding down your gullet.