Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Let's do the Numbers

Shaper's Index for February, 2009.
Average number of Tecates handed over to shaper upon pickup of up new board: 24
Average number consumed on the spot by customer, shaper, and shaper’s lovely wife: 5
Number of times in the last five years shaper has been offered a ‘giant bag of weed’ in exchange for a custom-shaped surfboard: 4
Number of times blog author has accepted said offer: 0
Average water temperature in Bodega Bay, California: 52.5
Number of sessions blog author didn’t wear booties at his home break last year: 0
Percent of sessions in which blog author did not wear 5/4 wetsuit last year: 5%
Number of times blog author has vomited due to duck-diving induced ice-cream headache: 1
Number of times blog author has left the water due to crowds in NorCal: 0
Percent of EPS blanks shaped this year: 10
Percent change from last year: -10
Chance that my buddy Gus will drop in on someone during a session: 1:1
Number of times he’s been forcibly removed from the water by a girl for said offense: 1
Ratio of full cutbacks to barrels by my buddy Jason in 10 years of surfing OBSF: 5:4,196
Number of shoulder surgeries my buddy Jason has had in ten years of surfing OBSF: 2
Percent of non-surfing friends that asked me last week if I was going to surf ‘The Maverick’s’: 50
Likelihood my glasser is not wearing her mask today: high
Last date my glasser told me she was feeling "tired": yesterday
Number of times blog author has missed a day of teaching due to irresistible wave forces: 2
Number of students blog author has seen in the water on said days: 2
Percentage of times blog author invoked the (fictional) teacher/student confidentiality agreement, “I won’t tell on you if you don’t tell on me” during said days: 100
Average number of fin boxes on boards shaped this month: 5
Percent change from February, 2009: +50
Ratio of surfed days in February before birth of first child, after birth of first child, and after birth of second child: 15:10:5
Percent this bothers blog author: 0
Chance that a board shaped this week is an 8’ cedar stringered rounded-pintail Broadsword: 1:2
Number of times a passing car has honked at blog author, who realized too late that dangly manparts were exposed while towel-changing: 2
Number of times blog author overheard unsolicited John Steinbeck references in local lineups this year: 2
Number of times blog author was called ‘dude’ in local lineups this year: 0

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Percent of times I see a broadsword posted herein and immediately want to order one for myself: 100

Gary said...

Number of days per week I want to contact you and write up an order for a new board; 5. But not sure that we can agree on the color turquoise blue I want the board to be.

HeadHighGlassy said...

What about those other two days of the week, Gary? God only took one day off, and he created the universe!

Anonymous said...

Steinbeck was a Moss Landing local... but the nice kind from south of the jetty!

Anonymous said...

Are you doing Mavericks this year?

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