Propositions for Prepositions

I call this composition, Off to the Glasser!
Or maybe, On To the Glasser!

Or just, To the Glasser!
Either way, hope Tony's got some green pigment in stock.

Down to the glasser!

Local H

What do you do when a really big dude wants you to shape him a big board?
You shape him a big board, damnit.

 Howard, who stands at least three feet taller than me and would make Thor feel like a schoolboy in shortpants, gets a 9’9.
Why 9’9?
Because he wanted something between 9'8 and 9'10. I'm no math teacher, but 9'9 seemed right in there.

Howard is a bicoastal shred and ocean enthusiast, a hell of a kayak fisherman and--I hate to blow his cover--as nice a guy as you could ever meet. So, if you see him tearing it up on the central coast, just go ahead and push him off his board and have a turn on it.

You might want to bring a couple friends to help push, though. Even then it would probably look like a kindergarten class trying to uproot a sequoia.

Production shot of Almar Glassing and Tony's resin-fume hideaway. Those stands have seen more tints than a Jersey Shore tanning booth!

Obstacle and Opportunity

It's been a week of obstacle and opportunity.

Obstacle: a, um, dude I know ran out of deodorant.

Opportunity: there, on the kitchen sink, sat the deodorant of his Special Lady Friend. It smelled like cucumber and sea breeze. He wanted to smell like cucumber and sea breeze. Permissions were granted, the obstacle was overcome*, gentle vegetal effluvia calmed the gentleman in question as he attended to his vocation.

Obstacle: this lovely MiniSims, bound for the racks at a retail surf venue, received an aesthetic blemish at some point during the construction process, rendering it unbound for the retail surf venue.

Opportunity: It's for sale!

Stats: 5'6x 21.5x 2.75. Convex to concave bottom, marine ply keels, S-deck with some serious foil in the nose, rails, and tail. A shred-ready wave-catching gnar machine.

Feel free to make an offer, though I won't subtract dollars for the blemish--you lived with them in high school, you can certainly live with one on the deck of your surfboard.

Looks more avocadoey and less limey in the real world.

In the spirit of wine country pretention, I recommend pairing this new surfboard with a dram of Bruichladdich 10yr old single malt scotch.

Why? They're both classic expressions crafted in the old style. However, far from relics, they offer saucy surprise after saucy surprise. In the case of the MiniSims, it's blazing speed and maneuverability. For the Bruichladdich, it's caramel, toffee, and...who's that knocking at the back door?...our old friend Mr. A Hint of Fudge and Brine.

Both offer smooth salty goodness. Another opportunity!

*interestingly, even though used sparingly and just once, the proffered object made this guy's armpits itch for a full week.

Tastes of Summer

How much fun was last week (surf-wise)?

How great are Dark 'N Stormys?

How posed does this shaper-scoping-freshly-glassed-stick pic look?

Answer: it's only semi-posed. Posed in that I held a surfboard against an industrial backdrop while a picture was taken. Semi-posed in that the bulk of my attentions (which aren't that great to start with) were genuinely committed to not dropping this thing.

How great is Bud Light Lime?

Before you judge, amigos, let me recount a conversation that happened last week with one of my oldest and best friends who currently lives in Cleveland. It was 96 degrees in his house and it was nine o'clock. At night! And there was absolutely no hope of the temperature even reaching the low nineties during sleeping hours.

"How are you coping?" I asked.

"Well, there are some, um, things with lime that help take the edge off..."

"Like what?"

And he whispered the following three syllables which changed the shape of my summer (or really just the taste of the last week).

Bud Light Lime.

This man relayed this information is an artist. He has an advanced degree in Industrial Design. He hiked the entire expanse of the Appalachian Trail--some of it in Tevas. He's a Jew for god's sake!
So I did the only thing I could do: buy a twelver of BLL and have at it. Know what?
Magical.

And by that I mean Bud Light Lime magically transforms Bud Light into a greater version of itself--the version of itself that was nice to everyone in middle school, despite whatever was going on with their pores. The version that likes spending time with old people and other peoples' kids.

What, you ask, could be so different about the addition of a single word, a swart nub of a single syllable like lime? I ask you this: can you note the difference between awesome band Rush, and not awesome band Rush Limbaugh?

The addition of a single word.

Do you sense the relief of tension between Salmonella and Salmonella negative?

One word.

Billy Baldwin and Alec Baldwin?

A word substituted, but still.

Enough. Here's more surfboard.